Best Lock? Try Worst Lock!

As you might know, I'm a fan of LEGO bricks. I always have been, ever since my brother and I built whole towns back when we were little. Back when we built the Ghostbusters car or Knight Rider out of the little plastic interlocking pieces.

And yes, I'm a fan even today, hence my really quite lame e-mail address, and title of this page. But you know how that goes, you're interested in setting up a new e-mail address, all of your first picks for a name are taken, and then you're typing in "jediboy" or "goredsoxgo" or even "thefuturemrhilaryduff" and it's accepted and you've got a whole new identity, just like that.

Anyway, I like LEGOs, and moreover, I totally hate Mega Bloks. Hate them (see Mega Bloks Suk! for more info). Cheap clone bastards.

So imagine my surprise when I found yet another LEGO rip-off on the shelves at my local Target on Saturday. Best-Lock Construction Toys. They were super cheap, and super cheap looking, too, so I decided to buy the smallest set there - Patrol Boat 3153. It's a little boat that comes with two little mini figures. A white guy (well, peach, actually) and a little black guy. Ah, equal opportunity LEGO rip-offing, I see.

When I got home I forgot about my three dollar purchase until after I unpacked the soaps and shampoos and gels and hairsprays (I'm trying to fix my hair, but more about that in a future column ...) and found the little patrol boat in the bottom of my bag.

The plastic is very cheap compared to LEGO bricks. The mini figures actually look quite a bit like LEGOs. And on the box it even says something like, "compatable with other brands" or something. Punks!

I decided to look them up online. Their website is pretty lame, but they're English so what can you say. It's over at - check it out. They have pirate ships, like LEGO used to and their spacemen even have a weird trianglular shirt, like LEGO used to. But they don't just rip-off LEGO. Nope. They have fake Jurassic Park toys, fake G.I. Joe sets (in fact, most of their product line is army men), and my favorite, fake Terminators. Like, the metal robot underneath, not the future governator of California Ahhnold.

Apparently the toys "occupy shelf space at major retailers worldwide", or you can order them online from two provided websites. Sadly, isn't even a real website, and appears to ONLY sell Best-Lock toys. Odd.

So check these bastards out when you get a chance. Hey, maybe get some for that cousin of yours who you really don't like, but feels bad when you miss his birthday AND the major winter holiday of his choice.

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Last Updated on: August 26, 2003

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