06/18/04 - What're they going to do? Fire me?

06/16/04 - Detroit in Five.

I hope you're happy, Mike. I hope you're happy.

06/15/04 - God is talking to me.

Yeah, this is the church that I pass by on my way to work and on the way home. I see it twice a day. Four times, if I go to the gym.

Why does He hate me? 'Cause I didn't see Mel's Passion movie?


(Oh, yeah, that's the famed San Fernando Valley's "June Gloom" in the background. It's not gonna rain or anything, it burns off by noon.)

06/10/04 - Random.

So today I saw not one but two seperate shoes in the road. One going to the bank this morning on Western, and one on Moorpark tonight coming home from Game Night.

My question is, who are these people who lose shoes on major roadways? And, more importantly, what do they do with the other shoe?

Oh yeah, screw the Lakers. The bums.

06/10/04 - TV Show Idea.

Had a cool idea for a TV Show yesterday at the Boys' McDonalds Lunch. I love telling the story about when I put a Classified Ad in the LA Times to find a new roommate. I had the really hot blonde 18 year old, the cute chick from Louisiana, the cool Candian dude who played guitar, my eventual roommate with her Mickey Mouse ring, and several dozen more randoms. If I hadn't been so stressed about finding a roommate, I would have really enjoyed meeting all of the weird people who reply to ads in the LA Times.

So that's my show.

Find a local newspaper's classified ads, or maybe one of those free Pennysavers. Then look for the weirdest ad, and go check it out.

Kind of like Dave Atell's show on Comedy Central where he wanders around a different city each week, going to bars and meeting the people who are up all night.

There are stories everywhere, interesting ones. We just have to find them.

06/09/04 - Beard No More.

Yeah, I forgot to tell you I shaved the beard this weekend. It was just getting annoying. But hey, I had it for two and a half weeks! That's not bad! It grew in nicely, too. So now I know in the future that a beard is a possibility.

One thing I neglected to do when I had it was photocopy my face. Yeah, my buddy Nate tried really hard to grow a beard last year. And it was pretty weak. But the best part was, after a month of stubble-ish patchiness, he photocopied his face. Then blew up the copies to three-feet wide on the pan-Xerox we have at work. Where to hang this modern art? Well, his boss was out getting laser eye surgery, so he hung three mural-sized photocopies of his scruffy face on the walls in her office.

We all thought that the sight might permanently damage her new eyes, but luckily that didn't happen. Nobody was struck blind.

So now Nate is in Austrailia, and I thought it would be ... well, it would be a hoot if I copied my face, with full beard, and sent it to him. But I never got around to it. Oh well. I doubt he'd want that on the walls in his office, anyway.

06/08/04 - Chili King.

This past weekend I was stressing out. So I decided to cook. Last week I made my World Famous Chili - but I royally screwed it up. At the last minute I wondered, "What would happen if I added a little dash of Cinnamon?" You know, an Emiril-sized "BAM"? So I did.

And you know what? That one dash permiated the entire batch. Every bite I ate tasted like Cinnamon. Almost as if I poured in the entire shaker-full.

It was horrible.

However, I was not deterred from cooking. In fact, I even went in the chili-route again. A few months ago I had White Chili at my favorite restaurant in Los Angeles. (It was a week night when I was there and sadly they only have chicken pot pie on the weekends. Bastards made me branch out. And you know how I hate trying new things. Thankfully I liked the white chili, or you'd still be hearing tales of my complaining.) The white chili was good, a few beans, some chicken breasts. Thus I tried to make it here. But the recipe I found online back then sucked horribly.

So this past Sunday morning I looked up a half a dozen more recipes. Most involved a crockpot, which I don't currently own, but I still stole ideas of their ingredients. I mean, it pretty much comes down to Chicken, Pinto Beans, Garbanzo Beans, chicken stock, onions, Cumin, Tabasco.

That's what I bought, and that's what I made. And you know what? It turned out pretty damn good. I was really happy with it. A few more tries to perfect the balance, and I'll have a new favorite chili recipe.

And I know NEVER to add Cinnamon to it, too.

06/08/04 - Copycat.

The gay kid on the new Road Rules Xtreme was wearing my shirt last night. Dammit. I hate that.

06/07/04 - Two Questions.

So this morning I noticed something horribly odd on the cover of the my latest copy of Movieline's Hollywood Life.

06/05/04 - You Will Be Missed.

This afternoon I was watching MTV, just catching up with the crew of the Real World / Road Rules Challenge - The Inferno. Man, those kids like to swear at each other! All of a sudden John Norris with a special update from MTV News. Something big must be going on, I thought, if MTV News is breaking into my favorite show.

John Norris confirmed that. First, he said it was a terrible loss for our country. Still, it was not a complete surprise, he went on. Many pundits have been anticipating this day for a long time. But still, it comes to a shock to everyone in the United States.

While the country will soldier on, Norris says, it has lost something great.

The inspirational rock band Creed has broken up.

Oh yeah, Ronald Reagan died, too. But I heard about that from NBC News.

06/03/04 - New Mini-Figure.

So I grew a beard! Thus, I need a new LEGO mini-figure. How about this?

06/02/04 - I Love Amy Gardner.

Tonight's West Wing repeat on Bravo was the one that had Amy Gardner (Mary Louise Parker) show up at Josh Lyman's apartment at the end. That's one of my favorite episodes. She hunts him down and kisses him. Awesome. He makes all of this effort to talk to her through the episode, and is so funny and charming but misguided. Then she shows up for him at the end. Awesome.

But my favorite episode? The one where she threw the water-balloon out the window at him. It was on last week. That's the best ever.

06/02/04 - Bank of America is Dumb.

So yesterday after going to my eye doctor ... well, not really my eye doctor, my eye doctor sub-contracted out my appointment to some other guy, I showed up and it was this other guy looking at my eyes, which is just weird. Anyway, yesterday morning I went to a Bank of America ATM over on Ventura Blvd in Studio City to get cash and deposit my roommate's rent check. But when I put my ATM card in, it didn't work.

It said my card was expired and spit it out.

And the card says "exp 05/04" on it. Yesterday began "06/04".

Bank of America never sent me a new card! Bastards.

So I call when I get in to work, and they tell me they'll send me another one ... in five to seven working days! That's like, next Thursday. A week from tomorrow. That sucks.

06/01/04 - Another one of my ideas - gone.

So last year I was in Vegas with my ex-girlfriend. Well, at that point she was my girlfriend, now she's my ex. Anyway, I woke up in the middle of the night with an idea for a movie. Well, that and I had to go to the bathroom. (We had had a few drinks that night.)

Luckily, in the bathrooms in Caesar's Palace they have little notepads. So, in my drunken and tired stupor, I wrote this down:

Of course, I woke up in the morning and didn't remember writing the note, so I was surprised to see it. (I think I read in Stephen King's book that he gets lots of ideas for his books in his sleep. And you know what? It worked!) Anyway, I thought it was a pretty good idea, I still have the note. I think it'd make a good movie, it's kind of a modern-day Weird Science. And it's a perfect time to make it, what with cloning and science going on. Yeah, and that woman from the Sweet Valley High show is getting popular again (she was in Club Dread, and is on that new Fox show North Shore. And she has a twin sister, so that would cut the special effects! Genius!)

So this summer I was going to write the movie.

That's right. Was.

I was, up until this last Sunday.

Because, on Sunday night, I caught the beginning of a movie on UPN. It had Desmond Askew, you know, the funny British kid from Go. He was the goofy sidekick to some good looking but a little nerdy hero. Of course, being a bad comedy, Eugene Levy was in it, too. The three of them are all walking around in labcoats. Interesting. Levy was explaining cloning to Kurt Fuller ... you know ... Russell from Wayne's World, Karl Rove from "That's My Bush!". You'd recognize him.

Cloning. Interesting.

So good looking main character and goofy sidekick Askew are walking through "generic college campus". (Of course, it's filmed at UCLA, like every other college movie in the past decade.) They run into Ali Landry ... the Dorito chick ... former Mrs. Mario Lopez? She's hot. Hero guy says, in his abashedly good natured way, how he can never talk to hot women.

Hot women. Interesting.

Anyway, to make a long story short, in a series of mishaps, Hero guy ends up cloning Ali Landry by mistake.

Dammit. Dammit Dammit Dammit!!

It's pretty much my idea. It is my idea. Or, more specifically, my idea was their idea. Dammit.

I turned it off, couldn't stand it. But I had to look it up online. National Lampoon's Repli-Kate from 2002. God-damn National Lampoon.

So I'm not going to write this movie this summer. I'll just concentrate on my comic book idea. Most likely that's already been done, too, but what can you do?

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Last Updated on: June 18, 2004

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