04/30/05 - Put a Tiger in Your Tank

Well, the new Macintosh operating system, OS 10.4 (code named Tiger) is out, and my computer is once again out-of-date.

I think the year and a half that I've had the G3 iBook is the longest I've kept a computer of mine current. It felt really cool. All of the newest software updates, QuickTime, iTunes, everything.

But now Tiger doesn't run on G3s so I'm shit out of luck. Damn.

It was a good ride ...

04/29/05 - Bush

I mean, it's bad enough that this guy is our President, but then he goes and screws up the prime-time TV watching by having a press conference at 8 pm on the first night of May Sweeps?? So instead of Survivor or The OC or heck, even Joey we had to watch our asshole President. Viewers, advertisers, network execs ... last night everyone was pissed at the president.

Apparently Bush answered the last question of the night with this "joke" - "I don't want to cut into some of these TV shows that are getting ready to air, for the sake of the economy," he said.

But by that time CBS, NBC and Fox had already cut away. CBS to Survivor, NBC to Trump Rollin' Up The Apprentice, and Fox ... well, Fox had the best dig of them all. Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie in the Simple Life.


04/27/05 - The Office

I'll admit that I'm a stupid American. I've never watched an episode of the British "The Office" but have totally fallen for the Americanized version. I know, I know, I should watch the real one - all of my friends who's opinions on matters of the TV I trust say so, too. But I just don't have the time to go rent all sorts of DVDs right now. Damn, how I miss Netflix!

Anyway, last night was the season finale of the show, and I'm bummed. The whole Jim and Pam relationship/not relationship is fantastic. One of the most realistic interpersonal dramas on TV. I'm serious. I've been in so many situations like that before. In fact, that's all that my office is right now. Me flirting and falling for funny, cute, engaged women. Seriously. The three women I talked to at happy hour on Friday? Engaged, engaged, engaged.

So yeah, this hits close to home.

Anyway, if you haven't watched the Americanized show yet, and if NBC shows repeats, go watch it. If not? Illegally download it. It's a good show.

04/24/05 - April Showers.

Sure, April showers are helpful, what with their bringing May flowers (and what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims!) But why does it have to be 80 and beautiful during the week, and rainy and cold all weekend?

Anyway, nothing new here to report, so I might as well tell a little story. I actually meant to write this awhile back - The Applebees Story.

So back at the end of March when we were coming back from California we got back to Daniel's house at 3 am. I went to work the next day, so that meant I got all of three hours of sleep. Oh, and that day was my birthday. My folks wanted to get together for dinner to celebrate, something quick and somewhat low-key. They suggested the new Applebees in North Windham, since it's on my way home from work.

The plan was I called as I was getting out of work, they got on the road and were there when I arrived.

And this is when it turned into an Applebees commerical.

You remember that one from two or three years ago with the high school coach who is retiring and they go in the Applebees and they hang his photo up on the wall? How Applebees is their Neighborhood Grill & Bar®? Exactly the same as it is for seventeen-hundred other neighborhoods in forty-nine states and twelve foreign countries.

So yeah, heartless, souless mega-corporation, right?

I walk into the new Applebees and they say, "you must be the birthday boy." Seriously, some eighteen year old hostess said this. I smile the smile of a guy who got three hours of sleep and worked for ten hours after travelling all day the day before. She shows me to the table, and next door are fifteen to eighteen of the high school kids from Lake Region - where my Mom teaches, my Dad taught eighth grade for thirty-something years, and my brother has taught in the past (and starts again tomorrow).

So all of these kids are like, "Happy Birthday ..." they trail off when they get to my name because my Dad is "Mr. Ed", my brother is "The Other Mr. Ed" or sometimes "Young Mr. Ed" - but I'm not really a 'Mister' to them - and my Mom calls me "Josh" in class but then do they call me "Josh" to my face? It was cute. See, they all know of me more than know me ... they know I'm the one who went to college in Boston, who moved to California, who worked at Disney, etc. I've met a few of them when I visited school when home at the holidays or some such. I'm not saying I'm a celebrity or anything, but, you know...

Anyway, after dinner (where they only interrupted several dozen times, once to ask a vocab question, once a question about Hamlet, once something to my brother) after dinner they sang me "Happy Birthday" - mostly I guess because the star singer of the school was there and led them. It was nice, and certainly made my first visit to the neighborhood grill and bar that much more memorable.

And no, they didn't put my photo on the wall, sadly. I'm thinking next time I'm bringing a glossy 8x10 in a frame and will just throw it up on the wall.

Oh, that reminds me of another Applebees story. And hey, since it's really, really shitty out, why not get into it? So back in November was the last time I went to an Applebees before my birthday. This time it was the one in Portland over off of Brighton Ave. By Mardens. We were on the way to the Maine BrewFest where all of the beer brewers in the state get together in the Portland Expo and you get to drink samples of their beer. It's seriously the best event ever made ever.

For some reason we had a few drinks beforehand, and then went to Applebees for food and more drinks. We were in the bar area, and there were all of these screaming babies and kids running around - it felt like one of those busses you see in China or Peru where you have kids running around everywhere, constantly underfoot, and next to you is a sweaty ancient woman with five live chickens not in cages or anything, and then smack in front of you some native mother is breastfeeding her baby.

Yeah, it felt like that.

I'm getting agitated, and I have to go to the bathroom, so I say somewhat loudly (mostly to get over the surrounding din) "How can you tell where the fucking bathrooms are with all of this shit all over the walls?"

But before my friends can reply (or even laugh) the waitress standing right behind be says, "The restrooms are right over to the back there."

Then, of course, my friends really start laughing.

I haven't lived it down yet and it was six months ago.

04/23/05 - Phew!!

Did you see that yesterday Warner Brothers released a photo of the new Superman from next summer's Superman Lives??

Brandon Routh as Superman

I like it. The reds are a bit muted for me, but I'm glad that the blue is as blue as it is. The logo on his chest is 3D which is a nice new twist - although it feels a little small to me.

I do, however, like the divit in the boots. They don't do that often - the latest animated show did, as did the old-school Fleischer cartoons of the 1940s. I always thought Christopher Reeve's boots were pretty lame in the movies. Too shimmery and too 70s. And from the one or maybe two episodes of "Lois & Clark" which I actually watched I thought those boots looked more suited for Wonder Woman than Dean Cain. They had the point in the front.

Interestingly enough - Supergirl? Can't find any fault with her costume.

"Hey Helen Slater. Hey Helen Slater. Hey Helen Slater..."

Anyway, yeah, back to Superman Lives ... I'm thinking that I trust Bryan Singer, and this Brandon Routh kid (yes, kid - I find it frightening that Superman is four years younger than I am!) well, other than being too young, I think it'll work. At least it'll be better than Smallville!

Now all we need is a new Supergirl movie and we'll be all set ...

04/22/05 - Creepy Rednecks

Here is the cover of the newest copy of Entertainment Weekly:

Damn! These people are creepy!! I assume that the one in the middle is Gretchen ... uum, whatever ... the one who sings "Redneck Woman" or something like that.

But that guy on the left! Dude! Is that a bunny hat? And what kind of face is that?!? He looks like a ped!

And the other guy, on the right - waaaaay too intense. Take it down a few notches, pal, or you might hurt yourself!

Why they're on the cover of EW, I dunno. It does, however, make me glad I'm not subscribing to "Country Redneck Living" magazine ...

04/21/05 - Spring Has Sprung, Tattooed Accountants and Hilter Youth Pontiffs

So lots have happpened since I spoke with you last. Seems my iBook wanted to take a spring break, as it may be. So I had to tweak a little over the last few days.

First off, it's freakin' Spring!

I officially started the season by putting out the clothesline on Sunday, and by drying my first load of laundry on it that very day. Well, most of the load, seems most of the clothespins have gone missing in our mess of a basement. Time for cleaning? Spring cleaning, perhaps?!

Also in the past week or so, new pope. Snotnosed-kid, too, only seventy-eight years young. I'm sure he'll last a good long time, too. Let's not mention his previous job in the late 1930s, early 1940s. Lordy.

In tandem, the Virgin Mary has returned to earth - on the wall of a freeway underpass in Chicago. How about that?

Work has been nuts, and I still have a few things to check on the iBook, but I wanted to drop y'all a line and let you know I'm not dead or in prison, although these Prison Nachos sure sound good ...


04/16/05 - New Toy

Well this is the coolest toy I've bought in a long time. A LaCie Mobile 80GB External Hard Drive.

It's tiny. It weights seven ounces. And you don't even need a external power supply, it gets all of its energy from the FireWire cable.

It shipped to my work address yesterday, so during the day I put transferred of my iTunes songs (all 25 GB!) to the drive. This morning (while it's still 30-something degrees out) I'm going to rearrange all of my other files.

I'm so happy! Tax-day really can be a good day, especially if you got money back to buy new toys!

04/15/05 - I miss all the great sports moments ...

So obviously I wrote this morning's post about The OC before reading the news how the Red Sox / Yankees baseball game turned out. Yeah, my buddy and I were watching the game at her house, but then switched over to The OC at 8 pm.

Idiots - we could have seen another Great Moment in Red Sox / Yankees fights.

Gary Sheffield making friends in Boston.

See? Another reason to get TiVo. Tape every game so if there's an incident it's at your fingertips. (sigh)

04/15/05 - Jack Bauer and Ryan Atwood are actually very similar in their approach to violence: A Study

Last night was the first time I caught The OC in about a month, what with NYC last week, no episode the week before, and California the week before that. Thus I hadn't seen any of the new storyarc with Ryan Atwood's brother, Trey.

The weirdest part is that the actor has been recast. Granted, we haven't seen that character since what, Thanksgiving of Season One? But now Logan Marshall-Green is playing him.

Yes, that's the same actor who played the no good hippie son Richard Heller on 24 this season. You know, the kid that they tortured for like, five hours and then who disappeared.

Man, that's weird.

Now if only Ryan would torture and perhaps neutralize Marissa we'd be all set. Oh, and if Lindsay and Anna would come back ...

04/13/05 - April in Maine is fun.

So yeah, we had some snow yesterday in Portland. They said it was just going to be "snow showers" but it was pretty freakin' snowy at times. This is what it looked like when I was leaving at 6 pm.

The good ol' Oak Leaf.

Looking up Free Street towards WCSH.
(pierce is to the right there.)

The Jetta totally hates me.

Can you believe this weekend was shorts and tee-shirts and two cookouts? Yup, Maine has it all.

04/12/05 - Weddings

Holy shit. Everyone is getting married. I already had two weddings in March, just found out about one in July, two weeks ago got a "save-the-date" for September ... and now I just found out about another summer wedding.

My girlfriend / best friend from high school, Crazy Holly, e-mailed me Monday morning, inviting me to her wedding in Cleveland ... in June.

I've been friends with her since the fourth grade. I've heard more about this wedding than any other wedding planned ever. She is one of those women who has the ideal wedding planned in her head. Down to the last detail. In fact, I bet right now I could tell you what music she'll play, what china she'll use, and probably pick her wedding dress out of a lineup.

And she's been engaged for, like, two years. She's been with the guy forever. But still, it's fucking odd.

Nevermind the fact that she and I were always competitive like nobody's business. I think she still resents me for getting the History Award Senior Year. Why I even remember getting the award is beyond me. I usually don't remember shit like that. Probably I only remember it because it pissed her off.

The last time I saw her was in Los Angeles. It was like a movie. We met at the bar in the Loews Hotel in Santa Monica - right on the beach. I was tan, in shape, lookin' fine. She was dolled up for a wedding she was in town for. We talked for a few hours - I gushed about what I thought was a good relationship that I was in at the time, how Holly had to meet her, she was awesome, etc. (Little did I know she was in fact not-cool and rather conceited and self-absorbed, but that's another whole session with my therapist altogether). Holly was happy for me, I was happy for her, it was such a good first-time-seeing-an-ex-after-five-years that we started regularly talking on the phone. Then shit went down with the aforementioned self-absorbed princess above, and Holly was really, really great listening to me ramble (I guess during that time I rambled frequently about the breakup). And now we're just buddies who check-in on each other every once and a while. Equals.

And now not. I'm single. In Maine. Invited to her wedding (in SEVEN WEEKS!) Shit, I need more time than that to find a present, nevermind a really awesome, cute, smart, funny date.

And I'm not going to be able to find that. That's what pisses me off. Heck, right now in my life I have the fewest number of single female friends who would go to Cleveland with me to help save face than I ever have.

And that's the part that kills me. I have to go to this wedding, because I've been friends with her so long. Because I loved her for several years. But the only people I'll know there are her brothers and sisters, and if the lone other friend from high school goes, maybe her and her husband. Not that I've met him, but at least it's someone to sit next to at the reception.

So instead of, "Wow, that Josh and (insert woman's name here) are such a fun couple! She is so smart ... and funny! Did you hear her tell that story about the thing with the thing? I almost peed my pants it was so funny! Wow, it's so nice that he can go to his ex-girlfriend's wedding. What a great guy!"

It'll be, "So who was that creepy dude all alone over at the children's table? Her ex-boyfriend? From High School?? Wow. That's fucking sad. Loser."

04/11/05 - New York City

So I survived the City that never sleeps. Although at 4 am it really seems like the City-that-never-sleeps-but-naps-on-occasion. Yeah, we started setting up outside of Good Morning America at 4 am on Thursday. So I was one of those people in the hotel who starts running the shower at 3:30 am and wakes you up and you say, "For the love of Guliani, who takes a shower at this hour??"

Times Square at 4:35 am looks pretty much like it would at midnight,
sans a few hundred people.

Anyway, the event went off without a hitch, the weather was nice and mild, and I'm 90% sure that I didn't end up on TV! (My folks and the people back in the office said they didn't see me, but maybe they were looking in the wrong places, you know?)

And other than me having to move the 15 foot Ryder truck at 8:45 am in the middle of Rush Hour traffic because one of my NYC office co-workers is a 'tard, well, I had a good time.

Shortly after I almost hit a rollerblader.

We pulled up to the warehouse in Portland at 10 pm Thursday, making that the first time I've ever worked an 18 hour day in my life.

04/05/05 - Off to NYC

Good evening! I never write at night, don't know why. (yawn!!) Oh, yeah, that's right, I'm always a sleepy bastard at night.

But I had to drop you all a line, I'm gonna be out of town for a few days. I have a somewhat funny story about Applebees that I really want to write, too. When I get back, for sure.

Anyway, all of you should watch Good Morning America on Thursday. We're doing an event down there on 44th St - look for me next to the giant peanut.

Yup, my "triumphant" return to Disney/ABC and it's working with a costumed character. How about that ...

04/04/05 - I love the iTunes Music Store

As much as I like to illegally download music, sometimes you just can't beat Apple's iTunes Music Store. Just this week I've bought several kick-ass songs on it, including the new Weezer song "Beverly Hills".

And that's where I think the store comes in handy. When I was in California KROQ was constantly playing the new Weezer song and the new Nine Inch Nails song and the new System of a Down song and the new Audioslave song. I got home and immediately downloaded them. No fussing with LimeWire and finding corrupt files. Just 99 cents and a password and bang, "Beverly Hills, that's where I want to beeee!"

And yes, I know it's foolish because come May 10th I'll buy the whole Weezer CD for real ... but until then I can rock out on the shuffle to Weezer. And that ain't bad.

04/03/05 - Mitch Hedberg

Yeah, I'm really bummed that comedian Mitch Hedberg died this week. Last week, I guess, since it's now a new week. Anyway, if you don't recognize his name right off, I'm sure you'd recognize him and his jokes - he was on Comedy Central all of the time. Lots of random thoughts strung together, like a slightly higher energy Steven Wright.

My favorite joke / observation of his? "Mr. Pibb is a poor imitation of Dr. Pepper. Dude didn't even get his degree."

Oh yeah, the Pope died yesterday, too, in case you didn't hear it.

The personification of evil meets the personification of good ...

04/02/05 - Souvenir from Cali

The only thing I brought back from California (other than wonderful memories of "Spring Break Forever", of course) were 48 cans of Diet Mountain Dew Code Red.

As you know my more-than-fleeting interest in all things cola, I was saddened to move to Maine last summer and find that the dietest of the Code Red family doesn't exist here. So I brought back 44 lbs of soda from Cali.

Yup, I figure every time I go to Florida, I'll bring back Pibb, and every time I go west I'll pick up Diet Code Red. And the rest of the year I'll be a happy. soda-drinking fool.

home | e-mail

This page made with a Macintosh

Last Updated on: April 30, 2005

© 2005 Joshua Paul Edwards