11/30/05 - Meet Your New Mommy

Holy crap TV just got dumber.

11/30/05 - The only thing better than TiVO is an Apple DVR

I've been drooling over the TiVO to go software that'll put your TV shows on a iPod since I heard about it the other week. I mean, I've wanted TiVO since forever. And now digital cable is giving away DVRs left and right, it makes me want cable all the more.

And now this.

If this is real, if Apple makes a DVR Mac mini / entertainment hub, I'm all over that like crazy.

11/28/05 - Anyone else think that this is symbolic?

11/22/05 - Rolling Stone article, "The Man Who Sold the War"

I read this at the gym last night. Scary and amazing. "Perception management". Wow.

11/21/05 - AT&T Logo, pt 2

It's here.

And, although it's not bad, it's not really, you know, good.

11/21/05 - TiVo and iPod - mmmmm ...

God damn, now I NEED both of them ...

11/20/05 - Superman Returns teaser trailer online!


Just wow.

Now THAT is a trailer.

11/20/05 - Christina Aguilera got married?!?

When did this happen? I mean, I know it happened yesterday, but how did that slip by me? Yes, I let my fan club membersihp in www.aguileraisqueen.net slide, but you think the major media would have picked it up. Of course I'm referring to my weekly publications such as People Magazine, In Style Magazine, In Touch Weekly, Weekly World News, US News & World Report - but none of them had anything.

How did Christina Aguilera fall so quickly? Go from the doll of the summer of 1999 to a washed up hack in the autumn of 2005? Was it her drrty thing she did? Was it Britney marrying someone even more white trash than herself and then having a baby with him that raised the stakes too high?

Still, you have to feel a little bad for Christina Aguilera. She's not even 25 years old yet, and her life is over. Sure, sure, she'll have that one last semi-hit in 2007. Appear naked in Playboy around the same time to try and drum up business. But by then we'll be on to the next jailbait fad (I'm thinking 16 year old pink haired Asain twins with a pet aligator named Stan, but that's just me). It'll be too late for an obviously past-her-prime Christina Aguilera.

And you can just see her, sitting up at 4 am, makeup streaming down her face either because of the tears or because that's the way her drrty stylist likes it, singing into the mirror, "Who is that girl I see ..."

So sad.

Christina Aguilera's career: 1999-2005.

11/19b/05 - Scariest Movie Poster of the year!

Wow, this is just scary beyond all reason. Someone somewhere thought this was a good idea?!?

I'm speaking, of course, about the "Raise the Woof" tagline. Frightening.

Everything else on the poster's cool.



11/19/05 - Little Sister

Here's a photo of the event:

11/18/05 - More Cowbell!

This morning at the end of my drive to the workplace my nano played Queens of the Stone Age's "Little Sister".

And while I've heard that song a ton of times, for some reason either the lack of sleep or the sun in my eyes for a full 68 minutes made me start cracking up from the first beat.

The first cowbell beat.

Remember when Queens of the Stone Age was on SNL this spring and Will Ferrell joined them on stage with a cowbell? Reprising his role as the Blue Oyster Cult cowbell player? Oh, it was genius.

SNL has had some fantastic sketches over the years, but the "More Cowbell" Christopher Walken sketch was just so fantastic. It's right up there with "Livin' in a van down by the river" as instant catchphrase.

11/18/05 - My money's on Valiant...

I just saw this, ten cartoons are on the eligibility list for best animated feature film in this year's Academy Awards.

The horrible part? For being such an animation fan, I've only seen one of these movies so far. I've seen Wallace & Gromit twice already.

11/18/05 - 3:44 am asthma attack

Yeah, that was fun, waking up at quarter-to-four not being able to breath. One of my blankets fell off, or I kicked it off, or something, and I was freezing cold when I woke up. All stuffed up and sneezing and ... oh, it was lovely.

Anyway, after trying to calm down for about an hour (I don't really have any medicine anymore) I just got up. Went downstairs, got some OJ (the non-wife-murdering kind) and worked on a Holiday present for one of my buddies in California. I obviously can't say exactly what this project is ... because this place isn't safe. People might see it. (Well, if people even read this malarkey ...)

Either way, parking my car at 7:55 this morning I was just about the first person to work. It'd look good to my higher-ups (of which I have many) but they won't be here for another hour. And they have no idea.

So I blog ...

11/17/05 - Jennifer Aniston is so cute!

Damn. I was in love with her 1995 Rolling Stone cover, and now this.

I like me a nude Rachel...

11/15/05 - The Office.

Holy shit is "The Office" funny. I know that the point of the show is to parody the workplace environment, but they do such a damn good job at it. I sat there tonight going, "That's just like my job! It's so true! It's so true!!"

Tonight's episode mirrored my current job so closely it's not even funny. Where I work right now is foolishly rife with romances. Riddled with romances. But the best part? It's the really dumb people who are in those romances. Like the chick right out of college who started working here in the summer. "Yup, I'm sure he really loves you honey, and the fact that he cheated on his former girlfriend with you probably means nothing." Oh, it's genius.

Sadly, my confidant in the romances left work the other week. Not to say that she was the Pam to my Jim, because she's married and I'm, well, me, but still. We used to sit in meetings with these two and just gag. It was great. In fact, I kind of wish someone was doing a documentary about my job right now, just so I could mug for the camera.

Looking back at the one time when I actually did have a documentary crew at my work, I kind of wish I had been on camera more. Been "That Guy". There's one part of the movie where my buddy Joe is whispering to the camera, about what went on in some top secret meeting. It feels totally staged - fictional. Sort of like "The Office", actually. Joe's just a character in real life anyway, the California surfer artist, but it seems put-on in that scene. Plus he's also being Mr. Exposition to move the story along. But he's funny so I forgive him.

Anyway, I digress. Back to the fictional TV show. So good. It was funny, though, when my confidant left my current workplace I was all, "Come on, you know you want to stay! You know that this breakup is going to be epic and the stuff of legend!" I think I almost had her convinced. Well, not really, but still, this is going to be a breakup for the ages. Oh, it's going to be so sweet.

Why do I care, you might ask? Well, work is fairly tedious, and these two are such boneheads that it really is going to be amusing to watch. Plus, as much as I try I really can't work flat-out 110% for ten hours a day. It makes my eyes bleed. I need something to numb the pain, in this case a foolish office romance.

The other best part of tonight's show? The aerobics balls from the opening. A bunch of the people I work with have them. It's all they talk about. You really do want to puncture them with scissors. Seriously.

11/15/05 - I hate A-Rod!

I meant to write this yesterday, but was too busy hating my job.

I hate A-Rod with a passion.

Homeboy does not deserve to me the MVP. Well, David Ortiz deserves MORE to be the MVP, does that make more sense? I guess I can admit that A-Rod is a good player, but Ortiz is the most valuable one.

The Red Sox depend more on Ortiz than the Yankees depend on A-Rod. Thus Ortiz is more valuable than A-Rod.

11/13/05 - Weezer has outdone themselves again.

"Buddy Holly" is the Happy Days parody. "Beverly Hills" has Hef and the Playboy Mansion. "Undone" is a four minute long slow-motion take. "Dope Nose" has street bikes. And "Keep Fishin" has my personal favorite - The Muppets.

How can they top all of these?

Well, the video for "Perfect Situation" apparently has, get this, Elisha Cuthbert.

Genius. Freakin' genius.

Yep, the star of "24", "House Of Wax", "Old School" rocks out to Weezer.

I can't wait to see this one...

11/12/05 - Coconut Fred's Fruit Salad Island

You have to watch this flash animated show on Kids WB called Coconut Fred's Fruit Salad Island!

It's like Spongebob, except it's funny.

11/10/05 - Fox's Arrested Development cut to just 13 episode order

Crap crap crap crap ...

11/12/05 - New Kaitlin Cooper on The OC!

First they recast Trey, now Kaitlin?!? Good thing Seth Cohen's an only child!

Man, if they ever recast Hailey Nichol I'll go ape-shit.

11/10/05 - Christo speaks!

Actually, technically it's Christo and Jeanne Claude who spoke last night at the Merrill Auditorium in Portland. Jeanne Claude's his wife and partner in the giant art that they do, such as this year's "The Gates" in NYC or wrapping the Pont Neuf or the Reichstag.

The talk was sponsored by the really quite astounding Portland Muesum of Art. Currently they have a retrospective of Christo and Jeanne Claude's work running throught the end of the year. I have to check that out now.

For forty-five minutes the two narrated a slide show of their work so far, as well as planning that they're doing for Over The River, their next project. They're going wrap a river, pretty much. The Arkansas River in Colorado. Check out their website for more info about it, it really sounds quite interesting.

My favorite part of the lecture was the dynamic between Christo and Jeanne Claude. They've been married for many years, and have worked together for almost all of them, but they still have this banter that is so amusing. She kept telling him to slow down, it was cute. Seem he would get excited talking about The Gates or Over the River and start going really quickly, and with his heavy French accent it would get difficult to understand him. And at several points they'd hold hands as they explained their art and the engineering of it. It was a totally fascinating pairing, as well as the artwork.

At the end they took questions, mostly the general, "What is the inspiration for your art?" variety. But both are really quite elegant public speakers that, speed talking aside, had great answers for the most lame of questions.

It was really pretty cool, I'm glad I went.

11/10/05 - Snow!

Here's a photo of the snow this morning at the house, about quarter of seven. Unreal.

It starts...

11/09/05 - Holy shit it's snowing in Bridgton, Maine right now!

It's 9:30 pm and snowing.

That's about it.

Just thought you might want to know.

Photos in the morrow.

11/09/05 - Bad citizen.

So I didn't vote yesterday. I'm a bad American. But I have an excuse, and luckily the one question I was concerned with went the way I would have voted, had I, in fact, voted. Thus it all worked out in the end.

See, I had every intention to vote. Seriously. But then it turns out it was the last day for one of my buddies at work. I thought today was supposed to be her last day. So we decided we were going to go out for drinks, because she's pretty cool and we like her. (Unlike some people who leave and it's like, "So long! See ya!")

Anyway, as we were drinking and chatting and drinking more, we discovered that she didn't vote, either. And then we found out she's a Republican and I'm a Democrat. So really our votes would have cancelled each other out. So we saved time by doing that.

Reminds me of the episode of The West Wing from a few years ago where Donna voted for Bob Ritchie instead of Jed Bartlet, and so she tries to get Christian Slater to switch votes with her. It was pretty cute.

Anyway, in Maine yesterday we voted against repealing the new anti-discrimination law. Yes, you got that right. We had to vote 'no' if we wanted to keep the law.


11/07/05 - S-P-A-M, Don't you know it's my best friend, S-P-A-M, Again and again and again ...

Luckily I don't get much junk e-mail at work. Mostly I'm on mailing lists for all of the different companies I buy from, so I get all of those weekly special mails from drugstore.com, staples.com, officemax.com, instawares.com, etc etc.

But today I got two random mails. Subject: software.


"Batter M. Skimpiness" and "Adulation S. Headband".

I laughed out loud.

In fact, that might be my new pseudonym. "Adulation S. Headband". Sweet.

"Headband, party of five, your table is ready."

"Adulation S. Headband you have a call on line one."

11/07/05 - Something Funny.

Good morning campers! Over the weekend I realized that I'm pretty much a clearinghouse for wacky articles now and not the blogging machine I used to be. You know, a storyteller. Raconteur.

So this week I pledge to write more personal anecdotes and fewer "Look at this goofy article / photo / monkey I found on the web".

That being said, if you want to read a really funny story by someone you don't know then read Mike Toole's 11/3 blog. Also funny? 10/28.

And don't worry, I don't know Mike either (He's a F.O.O. - Friend of Ochs). So it might be voyeurism but at least it's voyeurism we can do together.

11/06/05 - Sealab Toys!!

Cool, another set of toys that I don't really need by still kinda want ...

11/05/05 - Awesome anti-Bush sticker

This would be a great Holiday present for all of your anti-Bush friends:

11/05/05 - U.S. Should Repay Millions to Iraq, a U.N. Audit Finds

If you're not outraged you're not paying attention:

11/04/05 - The Return of The Rentals ... for real!


So this week I was looking for random songs to load up the iPod with for the drive to work. I put the whole first Rentals album on it.

Now today I see that they're back! Yep, check out http://therentals.com/return/. They're making a new album!

I hope Maya Rudolph joins them. I have a little crush on her.

11/04/05 - Meet The Robinsons

So after the news about the Will Arnett movie I was looking up other upcoming films and I found a photo from Meet The Robinsons!!

The movie, coming out next autumn, is based on William Joyce's beloved 1990 book A Day with Wilbur Robinson.

And don't bother reading any of the online synopses, because they're all wrong.

The website is: http://www.cinematical.com/2005/10/30/meet-the-robinsons/

11/04/05 - Will Arnett in the news

So I was looking for more info on Arrested Development and I found this story from yesterday. Not bad! Not bad at all! Will Arnett is really pretty funny, and the story sounds goofy enough ...

11/04/05 - Crap! No more Barry Zuckercorn!

Just saw this article, crap! See, I was hoping that Out of Practice would get cancelled, and Henry Winkler could go back to being Barry Zuckercorn on Arrested Development. Tragically not so ...

11/02/05 - Vermont

It's funny I read these two articles on the same day:

... and then this one ...

Postscript: I never knew Vermont was it's own country before it was a state. I mean, Texas always makes such a big friggin' deal about it, as does California. And silly me, I always thought Vermont was one of the original 13 states!! It was number 14.

That wouldn't be a bad ad, "Visit the country's 14th state ..."

11/02/05 - Gee, I wish I could download last night's My Name is Earl and The Office legally ...

I missed last night's showing of NBC's My Name is Earl and The Office because of this birthday thing. Sadly, only ABC is cool enough to sell legit downloads of their shows on iTunes.

But as I don't watch Lost, the Housewives, Nightstalker, That's So Raven or the other show they sell that right now escapes me ... something about Cody Lee Gifford or something? I guess I'm just out of luck.

Thanks NBC.

Thanks for nothin'!

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Last Updated on: November 30, 2005

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