03/31/06 - Build your own Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream flavor!

Dude! Do you like ice cream as much as I do? Of course you don't. Nobody does.



But even if you like it one one-thousandth as much as I do, you'll love the Ben & Jerry's Flavor Generator.

You make your own ice cream.

I made some rockin' pineapple and maple dealie. It should be tasty.

03/30/06 - I love traditional animation!!

Check out the trailer for the upcoming Asterix et les Vikings here. I've never read an Asterix comic book, but man, this movie has me excited. I just love traditional animation so much. I miss it!

Last week on the plane I watched Chicken Little and Lilo and Stitch back to back. Beyond the obvious story differences, Lilo was just so much more ... vibrant to me. Maybe it's true, maybe kids today like the CG more than the hand-drawn stuff. But to me there's still a coldness to CG that you can't cover with fake feathers or fake fur.

And with the glut of CG movies this year, it'd be nice to have a simple hand-drawn movie around. But sadly I guess this Asterix movie doesn't even have US distribution. Dang.

Oh, this is odd - look at the seventh or eighth shot in the trailer. The viking ship figurehead. Is that an homage to the lost opening to Disney's Atlantis? It looks damn near frame-by-frame!

03/29/06 - Fluff Lawsuit

Check out this fluff lawsuit. Ha!

But seriously, millions of children each year are harmed in fluff-related accidents. It's time to stop the madness.

I can't believe my friends in California had never heard of a "fluffernutter" before. Tragic upbringing in the San Fernando Valley.

03/28/06 - Coffee Flavored Coke?!?

What the ...?

Coca-Cola BlaK is a carbonated beverage that fuses Coke effervescence with coffee essence. Every sip is an experience ... to enliven your senses and welcome new possibilities. So find your muse. Find higher ground. Find your BlaK.


03/28/06 - Four Hannafords

I forgot to write about this when it happened, but it still pertains today.

Three or four weeks ago they opened a new Hannaford grocery store about two hundred yards from my brother's house. There had always been this factory for Sebago moccasins a few doors down, but that closed a few years ago in some corporate reshufffling, and now all of the shoes are made in Guatemala or some-such, you know the drill.

Anyway, in the beginning of March the mid-sized grocery store opened on that spot, making it the fourth Hannaford store I pass going to and from work.

Can you imagine that? In rural damn Maine I pass four of the same grocery stores. Granted, it's an almost forty mile trek, and we Mainers really like food. But it's not like there's a whole lot of civilization I pass through! I guess there's enough:

The good news? I sure as hell don't need a shopping list, if I forget anything I can always make a second (or third, or fourth) stop!

03/27/06 - The Ballad of John McClane

So apparently I can't embed video here, which is the biggest craze of '06 yet.

But here's a link to a YouTube project. It's pretty clever.

I present: The Ballad of John McClane.

03/27/06 - This Summer's Movies Could be sucky

There's a great article in the new Time Magazine about Mel Gibson's next movie, Apocalypto. It's about the fall of the Mayan Empire in 900 AD. The teaser trailer is out now, it looks pretty intense.

And then there's Brett "Rush Hour" Ratner's X-Men 3. Criminy, this looks like shit. Look at the Beast here. Say it ain't so, Hank! And apparently Magneto has some issues with the cupboards at the hideout.

"This is Dr. Henry McCoy, I'm listening."

"Damn, I wish I could also control crockery!"

If there's any doubt that this is going to be a stinker, it's ... well, there IS no doubt this is going to be a stinker. 100% certain.

I'm not sure about JJ Abrams' Mission Impossible 3. Abrams is cool, and Philip Seymour Hoffman looks like he could be a great bad guy. But then there's Super Adventures Club President Tom Cruise. What a 'tard.

03/26/06 - Paris Hilton: The Animated Series?!?

Paris Hilton wants her own animated tv show. Is this really suitable for children?!! Haven't we learned anything from The Gary Coleman Show (when he was a fallen angel, helping downtrodden children), or ProStars (the animated Michael Jordan, Bo Jackson and Wayne Gretzky show where they were always helping downtrodden children) or Mister T (the animated series where Mr. T is a gymnast helping downtrodden children.)

Christ, I think you can see up her skirt in that last one! I don't want to know what the animated Paris Hilton is going to do to the poor downtrodden children.

03/26/06 - Barbara Bush is as evil as her son

Man, if my mom did this I'd be so embarassed. Granted, if my brother was President Bush I'd be even MORE embarassed.

Don't these people have any scruples?!?

03/25/06 - Not my brother.

So have you seen the latest Britney Spears / Kevin Federline craziness? Some wackjob has sculpted Britney giving birth.

Monument to Pro-Life: The Birth of Sean Preston. Seriously. Yep, they say this is what she looked like while birthing the devil spawn. Although I've never seen a real person give birth, it seems to me that she's totally in the wrong position, right?

But I hear the birthing on a bear-skin rug? Totally accurate.

"A superstar at Britney's young age having a child is rare in today's celebrity culture. This dedication honors Britney for the rarity of her choice and bravery of her decision," said gallery co-director, Lincoln Capla.

Um, do you really think that Britney getting knocked up at the height of her career by some white-trash backup dancer was a "decision"? Maybe the lack of birth-control usage could be labeled a "decision", personally I'd go with "mistake" myself. And cavorting with a slimy dude like Federline? That's what I'd call a "disasterous mistake".

Anyway, that's not the best part. The best part? The sculptor of this monstrousity is named Daniel Edwards! But this is not my brother, art-barn's Dan Edwards. No no no.

03/24/06 - No Disneyland in Dubai

Huh. Interesting article:

03/23/06 - Helen Thomas

I haven't seen the actual footage of this, but the transcript is awesome.

President Bush, in a rare press conference yesterday, called on Helen Thomas from the Hearst papers. Apparently he hasn't called on her in three years. This is what he gets:

God I hate that man.

03/22/06 - Electronics are fun

Is there a freaking solar flare going on right now or something? All of the electrical devices I've touched in the past hour are wigging out and it's really quite irksome.

It started with my Jetta. Daniel's not in tonight, so I parked up next to the house, instead of down in the back where I usually park. I have no idea why, but the car alarm went off three times in about twenty minutes. My neighbors are going to be pissed. I checked the manual, but there's no way to disable the alarm. Wait, scratch that. There's no listed way to disable the alarm. This is also the manual that says to replace the headlight bulb you should see an authorized dealer. Are you kidding me? Replacing the toner in the copier at work is more involved and less intuititive that replacing a light bulb. Shit.

I think I'm going to figure out the fuse for the alarm and pull it. I live in rural Maine, for Christ's sake. Nobody wants to hear car alarms. (Not that people want to hear car alarms in cities, but they generally tune them out easier than in little Bridgton, ME.)

Second, my internet is slower than cold death right now. I have no idea why. It's not the wireless network, I can tell you that. I've moved all around this house testing. Up and down, left and right. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised one iota if this post right here doesn't even get uploaded. It's THAT slow. America Online in 1995 was faster. Hell, the pony express would be faster.

Electronics are a bastard. Thus I reiterate my ongoing point - Star Trek would be impossible, because getting all of those electronics to work flawlessly all day every day would never work. One morning Captain Picard would wake up dead because the freaking life support system crashed. Or maybe during a battle with the Klingons the forward sheilds would just decide not to work any more, and they'd blow up.

Serves Picard right, that bald bastard.

03/22/06 - Books books books

Last week I read the two best books I've read in a long time. Okay, actually they might be the only two books I've read in a long time, but still, these were amazing.

The first was Bill Simmon's Now I Can Die in Peace about the 2004 Boston Red Sox and winning the World Series.

I've been a casual fan of Simmon's columns on ESPN.com's Page 2. But I hadn't read any of his 2004 works. The book is pretty great because it captures the emotions during the season and seasons that led up to the Championship year, as they happened. The best part, besides his rather clever writing and almost Dennis Miller-esque collection of 1970s and 1980s pop culture references, is the footnotes that accompany each column. Pointing out when he was wrong, when he was right, or when he was being stupid. It's like a director's commentary, and it works really well.

Switching gears completely the next book was 1491, which is precisely what it sounds like, a snapshot of North and South America in pre-Columbian times.

I'm a huge fan of Mayan and Incan history and legends and the like, and this book is the freaking motherload. I cannot recommend it highly enough.

Did you know that before Columbus it's estimated that there were somewhere between 90 and 112 million native peoples in the "New World"? And how about 90% of them died from either hepatitis or smallpox or whatever other random diseases the Europeans passed on?

The book starts out amazingly, how the Europeans showed up in New England and met the Wampanoag, and how the Europeans were short and unclean and malnourished, and the natives were tall and clean and well nourished. It's the complete OPPOSITE of what we've always been told.

Then they all died, and when later Europeans arrived on the continents the natives actually were nomadic hunters, like we've always been told. But only because their heavily populated urban societies were wiped out after initial contact.

Oh, and maize. I never realized so much about maize.

And the languages part. Man, I wish I was good at languages. The New World had about 1200 different languages and 180 language families. Europe has four. (Indo-European, Finno-Urgic, Basque, Turkic).

Some experts estimate that people came to North America almost 43,000 years ago. Keep in mind Europe wasn't populated until 14,500 years ago.

But the best part is this. The wellsprings for civilization have always been listed as: The Tigris-Euphrates Valley, the Nile Delta, the Indus Valley and the Huang He Valley in China. But Mesoamerica and the Peru littoral created their own civilizations, as well. And they did it completely on their own, without the rampant trade that Europe and Asia had. Government, the alphabet, the wheel, the stirrup, metallurgy, algebra, paper ... all were traded from civilization to civilization in Europe and Asia. North and South America had to create these on their own.

Can you tell I loved this book? It's so very, very fascinating. If you're interested in it, by all means you should pick this up.

03/10/06 - The Little Bookstores are Going Away ...

Dang! I just read that my favorite North Hollywood used bookstore has closed!

Dutton's Books was up the street from me on Laurel Canyon Boulevard. I used to walk there, and always avoid the sketchy Popeye's Chicken crowd.

Man, I love used book stores. Like Avenue Victor Hugo which used to be on Newbury Street in Boston. Each week in college I used to wander in there and see what they had. (That one is closed now, too).

Dutton�s is where I got on my Dashiell Hammett and Raymond Chandler kick back in 1999-2000. On a few Saturday mornings I used to grab a book at Dutton�s and drive down to Disneyland and sit at the pool at the then Disneyland Pacific hotel and read. Then I�d take photos at the parks, then go back and read. It was really quite chill.

It seems, in this amazon / Borders world that the little vendors are getting squeezed out. And that sucks.

03/10/06 - Disney's Meet the Robinsons moved to 2007

Moved to March 30, 2007, to be exact.

March 30, which is my birthday!

03/10/06 - Batman LEGOs are now available!

Huh, not sure if I like the Batman LEGO Mini-fig sets, but you've got to give DC Comics credit for going with LEGO. Marvel Comics (once a LEGO Licensee) now has jumped ship to the inferior Mega Bloks.

That LEGO Batman Dragster is pretty lame, though.

03/10/06 - Earl to Meet Stewie?!?

Now, don't get me wrong, I like Stewie from Family Guy as much as the next curmudgeon. But this is just ... wrong ...

03/10/06 - The Money Pit

Holy cow!

You know how I went to Nova Scotia last August? Well, if you didn't, I went to Nova Scotia last August. And I just realized that I drove by Oak Island home of the Money Pit!

At least Shag Harbour had a sign.

I read an article about The Money Pit when I was little, and I've seen a little about it since, but I never realized that it was even in Nova Scotia.

If you haven't heard about it, it's this pit where people think there's buried treasure - whether it's from Captain Kidd, British troops, Spanish troops, or even the Inca from Peru. The structure is rigged to flood, so obviously someone has messed with it. Also they've found coconut fibers in the pit - and coconuts aren't indigenous to Canada. So something's up.

I really wish I had known about it before I went - granted, I don't think there's a public site to visit but still, you know, you could wander into the local shops and chat up the clerk, ask about what they think and all ...

03/09/06 - The First Game of the 2006 World Series

So the Los Angeles Dodgers played the Boston Red Sox today in Spring Training.

This is my call for the two teams battling in the world series come this fall.

Now, it's true, I'm a Dodgers fan from my days in Southern California. And it's pretty sweet that Grady Little is the manager, Derek Lowe the star pitcher, Bill Mueller is on third and some dude named Nomar is playing first. But I still think the Sox will win in the end.

Granted, the Dodgers won today's game, but it is, after all, only Spring Training ...

03/08/06 - Sodafinder.com

I just found a great website.

Sodafinder.com sells rare and hard to find soda. Like Mello Yello, Pibb Xtra and a Caffeine Free Mt. Dew.

Yes. Caffeine Free Mt. Dew.

And remember Pepsi Blue? Well you can remember what it tastes like, if you want to drop $300 on a 12 pack.


Sadly, no Vegitabeta.

03/08/06 - Letter from a Nut, to Wal-Mart

Ted L. Nancy I'm not, but I still think it was funny.

03/06/06 - It's Monday, that means "Time for 24!"

Well I just found the best resource on the entire world wide web. More useful than Wikipedia, the Internet Movie Database and epguides combined.

What is it, you might ask?

BauerCount.com - the Jack Bauer Kill Count for Season 5 of 24.

It's exactly what you think it is. Has the running tally, the episode number, name of character, photos, movie clips, and method.

Freaking genius.

Of course, BauerCount.com also can be used for evil. While I know that each season of 24 is different, right now Jack Bauer is significantly running behind season 4's kill count. This year his total so far is 14 through 4 pm. Last year he didn't kill anyone for the first two episodes and he was still at 19 at this point.

Well, with tonight's double episode, maybe there'll be more violence.

We can only hope.

03/05/06 - 3 months

Weird. I got the mail yesterday and there was a "return-to-sender" card in it. One of my Christmas cards.

I sent my Christmas cards out three months ago today, on December 5. So it took the post office three months to decide that my buddy out in Santa Monica moved?

Three months?!

Where has the card been hanging out for three months? It's actually in very good shape for being shipped across the country and back, too. I mean, there aren't bootprints all over it, nor is it even scuffed. It hasn't been chewed up by the gears of a lonely sorting machine. It's not even creased or wrinkled! I dare say that this might be the most pristine envelope I've ever received in the mail.

But that still doesn't answer the question at hand ... where the hell has this card been?

03/05/06 - The Unholy Spawn of Spears/Federline

Wow, who do I feel worse for - the nanny or the child?

I guess the child. At least the Nanny is free to go at any time. Not the kid. And you just know that poor thing is counting each minute of the next seventeen and a half years ...

03/05/06 - damn, and i used to like Joe Rogan

Holy cow. You have to go read Joe Rogan's MySpace Blog - he's posted a rather lengthy e-mail argument he got into with a fan.

Which is worse, the fact that Joe Rogan had this exchange with a disgruntled fan, or the fact that Joe Rogan thinks he won and put it on his weblog? Wow, you have to love the internet for bringing all people onto the same level, be it fanboy or D-List celeb.

Anyway, here's a snippet, Kevin has been going back and forth with Joe Rogan for a little bit:

Read the entire mess at Joe Rogan's MySpace Blog.

03/04/06 - Back in Uniform ... Just not a Red Sox Uniform

I guess I have to get used to these:

Kevin Millar on the Orioles

Nomar on the Dodgers

Bill Mueller on the Dodgers

Grady Little on the Dodgers

Fuckin' Damon

03/03/06 - Dave Thomas wouldn't have been so dumb ...

Wow, I can't believe that Wendy's might sell Baja Fresh!! (I also can't believe that I didn't know Wendy's owned Tim Horton's, but that's neither here nor there.) I'm a huge fan of the Baja Fresh, and very sad there isn't one in Maine. In fact, if Wendy's opened one up near Tim Horton's in Windham I'd go there every day for a month. I swear.

Either way, I'm kind of bummed - I was hoping with the ol' Dave Thomas marketing muscle behind it Baja Fresh would grow like crazy. Oh well.

03/03/06 - Just make an Apple TiVo, dammit!

Argh. I was really hoping that the new intel Mac Mini would have DVR capabilities. Because pretty soon I'm going to need a new computer ... and a TiVO.

Then I see articles like this - it looks like Apple isn't even going to think about making the Mini a DVR. Damn.

03/01/06 - What my iPod nano needs for my birthday

Holy crap holy crap holy crap!

I need this.

My nano needs this:

Who's going to buy it for me for my birthday? Just four weeks from tomorrow ...

03/01/06 - Arrested Development to Showtime rumor and The West Wing Finale guest stars

A little good news in the morning. First off there's this rumor about Arrested Development. I say rumor, because I'm pretty sure Fox hasn't officially cancelled it. Plus do you really trust the New York Post? I don't.

And then there's this lineup of the guest stars returning to The West Wing for the series finale.

Ahhh Mary-Louise Parker. You all know my thoughts on Amy Gardner by now I'm sure, so I'll just pipe down and get to work ...

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Last Updated on: March 31, 2006

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